Emotional abuse and physical pain are a toxic duo most people never see coming. Abuse doesn’t just mess with your head or your heart. It can sneak into your body and leave you aching, exhausted, and wondering if you’re falling apart.
I learned this the hard way after dealing with someone so toxic that they drained every ounce of my time and energy. Desperate to catch up once the stress lifted, I threw myself back into work like my life depended on it. Unfortunately, my neck had other plans. It simply couldn’t carry the pressure (or my head).
And then came the pain. The kind that takes your breath away, with ugly sobs and immense agony.
Turns out, emotional abuse not only drains your energy. It lingers in your muscles until your body says, ‘I quit.’ Toxic individuals may walk away, but the knots they leave behind can be hard to untangle.
When Emotional Abuse & Physical Pain Get On Your Nerves
At first, it was just a little ache in my shoulder. I figured it was a problem with the way I had set up my computer’s mouse. Then the pain went down my arm. Before long, I was rating it an 8 out of 10 and concerned I’d score a perfect 10.
The spine specialist wasn’t much help, but he gave me one crucial clue: a pinched nerve in my neck. He also suggested physical therapy, but I was in too much pain to even consider going. That’s when I realized: if emotional abuse could drain my energy, I wasn’t about to let pain drain my future. I had to find another way — fast. And so my deep-dive research began.
Proof You’re Not Imagining It
Turns out, emotional trauma isn’t just about what you feel in your head or heart. It shows up in your body too. In fact, researchers have found that women enduring emotional abuse report many more physical problems than those who aren’t being abused (source). And other studies found a clear link between childhood emotional abuse and adult chronic pain, even when other causes were considered.
If your body feels like it’s “keeping the score,” that’s not your imagination. It’s your body telling the story. And like any story, you get to write the next chapter, one small step at a time.
Note: This post includes a free printable and affiliate links. I only share products I use and value. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases (at no extra cost to you). Think of it as fueling me with a virtual coffee, minus the jitters. Thank you kindly.
Physical Pain Meets A Life-Changing Discovery
This wasn’t just about fixing my neck. It was about telling my spine, “Sorry you had to carry all that emotional weight, I’m here for you, and we’re doing things differently now.”
Buried inside a YouTube video, I caught the briefest mention of a physical therapist. They cut their words short, as if they had accidentally revealed a secret. That he’s the globally recognized expert behind these exercises. I rewound faster than you can say “What did they just say?” until I caught the author’s name.
Then, I struck gold and found the books.
These weren’t just any books. My research found that they came from a world-renowned physical therapist who dedicated decades to helping patients heal affordably on their own. I clicked “Buy Now” so fast it might count as cardio.
Armed with my happy pink highlighter pen, I eagerly devoured every page of the neck treatment book. Thankfully, it’s thin, with great photos that make it easy to follow. Despite the tears and pain, I absorbed the knowledge and began the simple exercises in the smallest way possible.
The pain gradually decreased, and I felt myself improving with each exercise session. Let’s just say, I now look forward to them as they’re like a nice, revitalizing stretch.
The author insists that you don’t skip straight to the exercises. You must first understand the why behind the pain. That mindset shift was everything.
If neck and arm pain are your concern, this book is crucial for your healing. Got back or leg pain? This companion book has your back, literally.
My DIY Healing Kit: Buh-bye Neck, Shoulder, Arm & Back Pain
Determined to heal, and never go back to that circle of hell again. I researched like my sanity depended on it, spoiler: it did. Because when you’re battling emotional abuse and physical pain, your body needs every ounce of support it can get.
And while a better chair won’t fix a toxic relationship, it certainly helps prevent the damage from being stored in your spine.
To support my healing, I invested in:
Chair Armrest Pads: Comfort and height to protect your wrists. Over time, I noticed that the black pads transferred color to my sleeves. I washed them, and all’s good. Get it here ▸
Extra Wired USB Mouse: One for each hand. Weirdly powerful, surprisingly helpful. Get it here ▸
Neck/Back Pillow: Although it’s too thick for my neck, it provides great lower-back support in uncomfortable chairs. Get it here ▸
Thin Sleeping Pillow: Perfect as a cozy leg prop when I sleep on my side. Love it. Get it here ▸
Mini Microwavable Heat Pad: Smells odd at first, like my healing journey. Both improved with time. Get it here ▸
These little upgrades made a big difference for me. If you’re ready to show your body some love, and make your desk less of a danger zone, consider these options. Healing involves caring for your emotional well-being, and ensuring proper ergonomic support.
Collagen Keeps You Together – When Emotional Abuse & Physical Pain Cause You to Fall Apart
Oh, I went deep into researching effective supplements, channeling my inner nerd and studying third-party lab results. Because apparently coffee and sarcasm aren’t enough to hold a skeleton together.
Supplements cannot replace boundaries, but they do provide your bones and skin with the support they deserve. If you’re curious, check out the ones that work for me. They might become part of your healing toolkit too.
Collagen (your body’s glue). It’s so important. But what kind, you ask? Here are a few of the good ones:
Undenatured Type II Collagen: It works wonders for your joints in just a small dose. Get it here ▸
Multi-Collagen Powder: Four types in one formula, including the above UC-II. Backed by research and made to help your bones, joints, and skin. A true win-win-win. Hey, don’t let emotional abuse take a toll on your skin; empower yourself. It’s tasteless (like that toxic person you know), and mixes well (unlike that toxic person you know). Get it here ▸
Budget tip: Using half, or even a third, of a scoop still provides benefits. Stretch that tub. The only directions you need to follow are your own.
Be sure to include some supportive friends:
Vitamin C: It’s essential for collagen to do its job, and this one’s non-acidic. Get it here ▸
Calcium: A non-negotiable for bones, plus no fork and knife required with this smaller pill. Get it here ▸
Vitamin D-3 & K-2: D3 aids in calcium absorption, while K2 guides it to strengthen bones and teeth, rather than arteries, yay. Get it here ▸
Hyaluronic Acid: It’s like a moisturizer for your joints, and it’s good for your sweet mug too. Get it here ▸
Habits That Heal — During Emotional Abuse & Physical Pain
Healing isn’t just about tools and supplements. It’s about daily habits that keep your body from carrying the weight of emotional abuse.
Posture, for example, isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a practice. You’ll catch yourself slouching, hunching, or craning your neck forward a hundred times a day. That’s not failure — that’s awareness. Every time you realign, you teach your body a new normal. You also break the cycle of stress it’s stuck in.
And then there’s sleep. If you’re a stomach sleeper with your head twisted to the side, that’s basically treating your neck the way toxic people treat boundaries. Bending it until it breaks. Retire that habit ASAP. Side or back sleeping may take a little retraining, but it’s worth it if you want to wake up without your body screaming at you.
A few easy healing habits to add to your day:
Standing breaks: Sitting too long is like giving your spine the silent treatment. Stand up every 30–60 minutes and reset. ▸ Free Mac app: Pause: Take a Break.
Shoulder rolls: Release the tension before it takes hold. A few slow rolls back and down can undo hours of hunching.
Posture check-ins: Notice where you are: head forward, shoulders caved, chin poking out? Pause, breathe, and realign. ▸ Free resource: [Download your free “Posture Patrol” printable reminder.]
Stomach sleeping swap: Train yourself to sleep on your back or side. Think of it as removing one more toxic influence from your life.
Healing habits aren’t about perfection. They’re about noticing, correcting, and repeating. Little by little, you retrain your body to feel safe, supported, and strong again.
Being informed is everything
If I were you, I’d start with the books. They’re the foundation — your survival kit for preventing pain and speeding up healing.
If neck, shoulder, arm, or hand pain is already crashing your party, grab this neck healing book right away and save yourself a whole lot of misery. And if back or lower-body pain has you in its grip, trust me — you’ll want to get this back healing book in your corner. Protect yourself and correct yourself (your posture that is), you’ll thank me.
And guess what? After all my research and engaging in simple yet interesting exercises, I healed. My spine just needed a little respect and the right supportive tools. And now I want to help you avoid ever having to search “What’s this pain, or am I just broken?” My friend, you’re not broken. You’re rewiring, recharging, and reclaiming your energy.
Don’t Wait Until Emotional Abuse Becomes Physical Pain, & Your Body Rebels on You
Even if you haven’t had pain yet, I beg you. Take this seriously. Protect your body so you can preserve your energy. Toxic abuse already wastes enough of your time and strength. Don’t let physical pain waste even more.
A physical therapist I follow stated that poor posture injuries will become an epidemic. I believe it. I knew someone who thought they were having a heart attack — nope. Turned out to be nerve pain.
Others I’ve known have experienced back pain or intense nerve pain radiating from the spine, as loud and endless as a toddler with a drum set. Unlike a toddler, you can’t hand your spine a snack and hope it calms down.
Excuse Me While I Interrupt Myself & Stack My Bones
Two Life-Saving Lessons You Can Start Today
1. Posture, Posture, Posture
Yes, that’s three words, because it’s that important. Sit tall, stack your bones, channel your inner ballerina. Bonus: you’ll look and feel more confident, have space to breathe (hello, calmer nervous system). Plus, your stomach will have room to devour that Nacho Grande (with extra guac, because you’re worth it).
It all starts with your spine, your body’s main nerve highway. The nerves radiate out, branching off at each level, like gossip spreading table to table. And when your spine’s kinked, your whole body revolts. Kind of like when one toxic individual wrecks the entire family gathering.
Toxic people may not sit at your desk, but they can still harm your posture from within. Emotional abuse hunches your shoulders, clenches your jaw, and before you know it, your back’s screaming louder than your inner critic.
Fun, and slightly horrifying, fact: Your head weighs about 10 pounds. That’s basically a bowling ball perched on your spine. For every inch you crane forward, you add 10 pounds of pressure to your neck. Look down at your phone? That’s two bowling balls. Slump at your desk? Three or four. No wonder your neck’s cranky.
▸ Free resource: [Download your free “Posture Patrol” printable reminder.]
2. Interrupt Your Body, Not Your Friends
Interrupt. And no, not in the toxic way like: he freakin’ interrupts me because he thinks he’s the most important person in the room. I mean, literally interrupt your body’s stuck position. All. Day. Long.
Your body loves movement. Think of it like a difficult person; it misbehaves when neglected for too long.
Get up. Stretch. Wave your arms in the air like you just don’t care. Then actually care, because this is how you keep your body from rebelling.
My favorite little helper is a simple Mac app called Pause: Take a Break. It’s free, easy to use, and politely nags you to get up outta that chair before your neck locks up like a rusty hinge.
Of course, you can set any timer or reminder that works for you. The point is consistency. Sitting at the computer, washing dishes, driving — all of it can lock your body into positions it doesn’t like. Break the cycle before it breaks you.
Emotional Abuse Is Hard Enough — Don’t Add Physical Pain
Emotional abuse already drains our lives in ways most people will never understand. Adding physical agony on top of it? No, thank you, not on my watch.
Take it from me. Protect your posture and interrupt your body often. And please, if pain shows up, don’t ignore it. Get the book, get the tools, and heal.
Because you don’t want to live with pain on top of everything else you’re going through. You deserve to feel great, to feel worthy, and to have the energy to create and thrive — not just survive.
Note: This post contains affiliate links. I only share products I use and value. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases (at no extra cost to you). Consider it back-saving support, so I don’t end up shaped like a question mark while writing my next post. Thank you kindly.
Resources Recap:
Here are the top tools and helpers that supported my healing and might help yours too:
Books: [Neck & Arm Pain Treatment Book] • [Back & Leg Pain Treatment Book]
Posture Support: [Chair Armrest Pads] • [Extra Wired USB Mouse] • [Neck/Back Pillow] • [Thin Sleeping Pillow] • [Mini Microwavable Heat Pad]
Supplements: [Undenatured Type II Collagen] • [Multi-Collagen Powder] • [Vitamin C] • [Calcium] • [Vitamin D-3 & K-2] • [Hyaluronic Acid]
Freebies: [Pause app (Free Reminder to Move)] • [Free “Posture Patrol” Printable. Designed by me, a real human — I promise!]
Tip: Start with the books. They’re your guide for preventing and healing neck and back pain. Take care of your neck here ▸ and your back here ▸ You’ll be glad you did.
So please, don’t wait until you’re slumped over like a wilting flower before you take action. Healing your body is part of reclaiming your power. You deserve energy, strength, and freedom — not just from toxic people, but from the pain they left behind.
Friendly reminder: I’m not here in a white coat (though I do look good in one). I’m sharing what helped me, and your body and needs are unique. If you’re considering supplements or significant lifestyle changes, consult your healthcare provider. While a pillow and a wise book are incredibly beneficial, they don’t replace the care of someone with a stethoscope.
